RTW ’23: Week 10

I knew that when I set out to travel around the world, I would miss a lot from my life in the US– family, friends, events, special occasions, even mundane everyday life tasks that had become a part of my daily routine. What I didn’t realize, however, was just how much my heart would yearn for “home”. During week 10 of RTW, I was fortunate enough to be able to spend a good portion of the week with family in Northern Ireland. It filled my heart with warmth, love, abundant joy, and filled a hole that I didn’t even know was there to begin with. Being able to walk on ancestral soil, wrap my arms around family members, trade stories and find similarities within one another was such a treat! It was a wonderful reminder that no matter where life takes us, we can always go back to our roots.

Wednesday was my last full day in Liverpool. In the morning, I had a productive call with Julia and Hannah from J&J Mentor. It was a planning call for my upcoming visit to the J&J facility in Leiden, NL next month. As part of my breast cancer story with Mentor (see week 8 of the blog for more on that), I will be a guest speaker at their Winter Town Hall. It will be so nice to meet the team in person and thank them for being a part of my journey back to full health. I’m also looking forward to being with J&J colleagues again, but this time as a retiree! The J7J community is world wide and I’m grateful to still be a part of it. I had a few other errands to do on my last full day in Liverpool, so after the call, I walked into town. I was due for a haircut since it’s been more than 9 weeks away from my home salon. I looked up places within walking distance and started scouting around for a salon that could take me in same-day. I found three– one in China Town for £30 (I always liked getting my hair done when I lived in China), another priced at £50 for a shampoo, cut and blow (which seemed a little pricey given what others were charging), and finally a £20 dry haircut at SuperCuts (same franchise as in the US). It was hard to find the SuperCuts in the shopping center, but once I did, I was sold with the price and the familiarity of a chain that I have used before. The queue was about 30 minutes, so I grabbed a quick sandwich at Subway while I waited. It felt like I could have been in a mall in the US! Once the haircut was done, I was happy with it, so I asked if I could put a tip for the stylist on my credit card. He said “no, nobody does that here!”, so I thanked him for his honesty and paid the £20. He replied, laughing, “yes, I guess I’m too honest!”. The idea of not tipping for an appreciated service is so different from the US standard! After my haircut, I took care of a few more errands and then wandered around soaking in the last sights of Liverpool. On my bike tour with Alex, he had pointed out two cathedrals that are on opposite ends of Hope Street. One is a Protestant Anglican Church and the other is a Roman Catholic Church. It seemed fitting that as I was getting ready to go to Belfast that I took the time to visit both. They were beautiful in their own right– one quite modern, and the other more traditional. My final stops of the day were for comfort: Cat Cafe for a latte, and Maggie Mays for Liverpool’s signature dish, Scouse. Cat Cafe exceeded my expectations. There were cats just free ranging all over the cafe, lounging about on tables and greeting customers if they wanted attention. The novelty of sipping on a latte, complete with cat art foam, while enjoying the company of roaming cats was quite enjoyable! Once my list was complete, and my belly full, I went back to the hostel to pack up for the big travel day to follow!

On Thursday, I was prepared for a day full of travel! I woke up, gathered my belongings, and set out for the Stena Ferry Terminal. The ferry was scheduled to depart at 10:30 a.m., but they needed additional time to load cargo trackers, so we didn’t leave the harbor until 12:15 p.m. The cargo trackers and vehicles went on the lower decks, 3-6, while passengers went on decks 7-8. On level 9 there was a sundeck, so I ventured up to say goodbye to the Liverpool skyline and Mersey Ferry, which was painted like a yellow submarine. My ferry was very similar to the one from Bilbao in regards to the location of lounges, restaurants, and cabins. I easily found my seat and settled into my lounger. I was the only person in the lounge area when all of a sudden a staff person came in, confirmed I was the only passenger in this section, and asked if I wanted access to the Premier lounge where they served free food and drinks. I said “sure!”, and he gave me a card with the passcode. I’m not sure why he chose me, but I appreciated the upgrade, and having multiple places to hang out for the seven hour ride was a huge bonus. All passengers received a £5 voucher due to the delayed departure, so I went to the duty free shop to spend it. I found a Lonely Planet book on Scotland that was reduced to £5, so I used my voucher and bought it! For the last week or so, I’ve been browsing online, trying to figure out an itinerary for the next month. I’d planned to go to Glasgow after Belfast, but was not sure what to do since it’s past the regular tourist season. I was excited that I had all day on the ferry to read this book, plus there was WiFi available for £4, so my relaxing day at sea was coming together quite nicely. I did take one Dramamine beforehand just in case… and avoided orange juice. No need to tempt my fate, here! The day was relaxing overall, and I even caught a nice nap in the middle of the trip. I hadn’t considered it before, but it dawned on me that taking ferries to and around the UK is helping me prepare for the month-long freighter trip coming up in January. Each time I embark on these vessels, I walk around to get familiar with where things are and what facilities are on board. I’m not expecting the cruise ship-like amenities on the ferries to be on the freighter, though I know meals will be provided, but I do plan to inquire if there will be a place for me to store food and snacks that I enjoy. I’m also curious if there will be a place where I can work out or if there will be a lending library onboard. In the evening, we arrived at Belfast Harbor. Foot passengers are always the last to disembark, after people with cars, so I waited patiently for my turn to put my feet back on solid ground. My hotel was about 2 miles from the dock, so I checked Uber to get transport from the dock to my hotel. I’m glad that I did, as there were no taxis waiting at the dock because of our delayed arrival. I saw other foot passengers, about 20 or so, looking around for taxis to no avail. It felt like I was on another episode of Amazing Race! I was happy when my Uber arrived– I was ready to get to my hotel and settle in for the night, anxious to explore the area in the morning and reunite with some family.

Friday started with an English staple: crumpets! My grandson, Trent, had asked me last week when I would be having crumpets with the Queen. Though I didn’t have the pleasure of enjoying the Queen’s company, I did finally get to enjoy the crumpets at my B&B! After a good breakfast, I enjoyed a slow morning at my accommodations, and then checked out at noon. My cousin, Tim, was slated to pick me up and bring me back to his home. The address for the B&B I stayed at wasn’t exactly right in front of the building, but Tim was familiar enough with Belfast to know this beforehand, so he parked his car and started walking to find me. When I didn’t see him right at noon, I also set out on foot in the very local area to look for him. We had previously been communicating solely via email, and didn’t even think to exchange phone numbers in case of a situation like this. Thankfully, we ended up finding each other about a block from my B&B. The last time I saw Tim and his wife, Lynda, was 10 years ago when I extended my business trip in Cork to visit Magheralin. Tim and my mother were cousins on my maternal grandfather’s side of the family. “Gracey” is our common surname. It was so wonderful to see him and his wife! The best part was that we just picked up the conversation right where we last left off, as if there hadn’t been a 10 year gap in between. Both of them really spoiled me– a delicious home-cooked meal, a walk in the beautiful countryside on a sunny afternoon, a very comfortable bed with a preheated electric blanket, and luxury toiletries to boot! In the late afternoon, we went to a bookstore and coffee cafe. This is something that I would do with my brother and son back home, so it was the perfect way to spend a family day. As much as I love traveling, spending time with family is a priceless gift, and I didn’t realize how much I needed it until today. I’m so grateful for my family and for Tim and Lynda’s hospitality. We reminisced about Tim’s visits to his Aunt Mary O’Tooles house in Yonkers, NY when he was a young man, amongst many other family stories. There’s something really special about remembering and retelling family stories, reliving them and reconnecting with each other as the words pass between us. Tim has retired since the last time I saw him, so we exchanged thoughts on retirement and adjusting to this new life chapter. At the end of the night, I retired to my bedroom, excited for the warmth of a heated blanket on my body to match the warmth that already filled my heart.

On Saturday, I woke up feeling refreshed and comforted in a way that only being around family can do. Tim, Lynda and I enjoyed a nice breakfast together, and then we got ready for another day of local adventure. Tim and I set out to visit his cousin, Anne, and her partner, Christopher. The whole day was very relaxing, and it was so enjoyable to visit with even more family in the area. Being in conversation with them and hearing stories about distant family members created a feeling of kinship– that I’m connected to this place and to the people that I met today, as well as the people that have passed. Anne, especially, had many stories about her parents and grandparents. She lives in her family’s home, and while we were visiting, she showed us the original stone walls in the garage that featured family names carved directly into them. There were several stories about farms in the area that had been subdivided to give siblings their own plot of land, which kept the families close over many generations. One especially poignant story was about Anne’s parents, Ruby and her husband. Years ago, Ruby and her husband decided that they were going to sell their farm and move to Belfast. However, the back of the farm had become a car junkyard over the years, and the eyesore was making it difficult to sell the land. So, the husband would spend a few wee hours each morning before going to work in Belfast to clear the cars and clean up the land. What started as a mundane, necessary task slowly turned into Ruby’s husband connecting with the land around him. The more time he spent in the fields, the more the birdsongs resonated with him and he began to feel sentimental about the land of his ancestors. Outwardly, he was a rough and burly guy– no one suspected he had a sentimental nature. But, as he finished clearing out all the junk, he and Ruby decided not to sell the farm afterall. Anne finished telling the story by saying how glad she was that the birdsongs saved the family farm that is now her home. She and Chris have preserved the house while adding their own touch to the landscape. During the lockdown, they even built willow fences on the property! We shared a lovely lunch of homemade jams, breads, and warm apple pie with fresh cream. The stories and food were comfort to my soul. After lunch, Tim drove Anne and I around the countryside to visit two family cemeteries and a few other places that Anne thought I would enjoy seeing. We rode along very windy and narrow, mostly paved, roads that had grass growing in the middle. There were hedgerows on both sides of the road, which made it very challenging to know if another car was approaching. Anne reassured Tim that Lories (larger trucks) didn’t come this way at all, and there might only be an occasional car driving home. The surrounding fields were still very green, but the hedgerows were showing the beginning signs of Fall’s hibernation. We visited two rath’s and the Newry Canal. A rath, or ringfort, is not the same thing as a hillfort, though to the unknowing eye there could be confusion between the two. Raths were mainly constructed from 500 to 1100 AD as farmsteads with limited protection from outside threats, whereas hillforts were built in the late Bronze Age for defense purposes on hill top sites. Anne explained that this region doesn’t have castles, per se, but that rath’s were build with the earthen materials available in the area as places for protection, with good look outs and defensive moots. I could feel that it was a sacred, ancient place as we climbed up to see the vista views (video below). I’m so grateful to both Anne and Tim for spending their Saturday with me. I could feel that Anne is deeply connected to the land, her ancestors, and preserving the stories and traditions of Northern Ireland. She is a living role model of a strong woman, carving out a life in the fashion that works for her– modern in some ways, but timeless in so many others. In the evening, Tim, Lynda and I drove into town to meet Tim’s two sons, Michael and David, for dinner. David brought is 7 year old son, Mason, with him. The six of us had a really nice dinner in a pub that was quantly decorated for Christmas. It was the perfect way to end an amazing day in the Irish countryside.

Sunday was another wonderful day spent in fellowship and family. Tim and I went to Mass at St. Patty’s (Gracey family parish), which was in remembrance of all of those who had passed during the year. It was a beautiful Mass, and I was thankful to be able to attend. After Mass, Tim and I chatted with some more family local to the area that I hadn’t had the opportunity to connect with during my visit yet: Tim’s sister in law, Margret, and her daughter, Mary. I had met both of them years ago when they were in the US, and it was really nice to see them again. I shared some stories with them about my travels so far, along with ideas of what’s planned on the horizon. The rest of the day was quiet. Tim and I took the family dog, Duffy, for a walk in nearby Lurgan Park. The rain held off until we were halfway around the lake, then it came pouring down. So, we finished one loop around the lake and returned home to enjoy some much welcomed hot tea and snacks. Lynda had been making all of our meals that we’ve eaten at home, but on Sunday, Tim prepared dinner for us. He made Chinese chicken and veggies with rice and crispy naan. All of our meals together have been delicious, and this one was no exception. They are both fantastic cooks, and I am thankful for all of the home cooked meals! After dinner, Tim’s brother, Billy, and his wife, Elizabeth, came over for a visit. Billy brought me a few lovely gifts– an Irish pewter compass and book about the history of walking. They were such thoughtful gifts, and I will cherish them. It will be comforting to carry a little piece of my Northern Ireland home with me during the rest of my travels. We shared a nice evening exchanging stories and discussing plans for the upcoming wedding of Billy’s daughter in a few weeks. It was so exciting to be included in the discussion of upcoming family plans. It really solidified to me that I do have a home, here, and I went to sleep later that evening feeling the warm embrace of family abroad.

Monday was the last full day with family and it was a fruitful one! We enjoyed a delicious breakfast together, and afterwards, Tim and I went on a walk with his regular Monday u3a walking group. It was raining and very windy when we left, but we decided to go anyway and see how the weather was in Craigavon, where this week’s walk started. There were about 20 people gathered in the parking lot, all determined to not let the rain and wind damper their walking plans. It felt great to be outside walking and meeting new people, similar to the feeling of being on the Camino. Tim introduced me to all of his friends as we walked, and being in a walking community again really made my day! After our walk, Tim and I went back to his house. Lynda gave me a tour of her greenhouse, and they showed me the old family house near theirs! My daily foot pic has been a huge success during my travels, and on Monday, I was able to take my foot pic in the Gracey family homestead. It’s not currently lived in, but is on the family property. The tile floor in my foot pic (see below) was walked on by both my mother and grandmother, and now by me. It’s very sentimental to know that my previous generations were here before me, and I believe that they would be very happy to know that I made a visit to the Gracey’s during my trip around the world! After dinner, Margaret (Tim’s sister in law), Mary (Tim’s niece), and Mary’s baby stopped by to visit. It was wonderful to finish the last full day in Magheralin with more family, and the baby snuggles were an added bonus! After they left, Tim, Lynda and I stayed up late into the night, absorbing as much time together as possible, before we had to give in to sleep.

As I packed my bags early on Tuesday morning, I realized how very much I had settled into Tim and Lynda’s home. They both made me feel so welcomed! Although I was sad to leave, I focused on how rich and full our time together had been. Tim put a lot of thought and planning into arranging family visits, ensuring there was downtime for relaxing, and hand picking activities that he knew I would like, such as all of the walking activities. Lynda spoiled me with so many special touches, such as preparing delicious homemade meals, turning down my bed each evening, and even doing my laundry, just to name a few. Tim even drove me to Belfast in the early morning, which was extremely generous of him, especially since we traveled during the morning commute time! Their outpouring of love and generosity, and embracing me with open arms, was such a gift. The day was spent in a smorgasbord of travel to get to my next destination: Scotland. Tim dropped me off at the bus terminal where I boarded the bus and rode it to the ferry terminal. Once there, I hopped on to my latest ferry, and settled in for a smooth ride. I was thankful to have yet another successful ferry trip with no nausea, feeling confident for future sea endeavors. Once the ferry docked and I disembarked, I took a 2 hour bus ride to Glasgow, my new city. Because the day was spent traveling with no real events planned for the day, I had plenty of time to reflect on my time in Magheralin. The recurring theme over the past week is kinship. I’ve felt so connected to the people I spent time with and to the place I stayed that has been home to my ancestors for over 100 years. The activities, conversations, and food all felt so familiar and comforting. As much as I yearn for new places to discover on this RTW journey, this past week was a homecoming that I didn’t realize I needed until I arrived in Magheralin. The word “kinship” is an old English word from “ship” (denoting a property or state of being, time spent in a role, or a specialised union) and “kin” (relationship; same-bloodedness or affinity; near connection or alliance, as of those having common descent). Although Tim and I have visited infrequently over the course of our lives, when I found things in common between us this week, it was not a surprise. Rather, it was more like an assumption, uncovered. Of course, we both love to browse in bookstores, plan to arrive early to events, select cinnamon scones over all others, would rather say less than more before gathering the facts on the news of the day, and we are skeptical of nature. My reaction to these shared characteristics was that even though they are not necessarily genetic, they must be family traits. A kinship. A shared connection. Connecting with Gracey’s that I’ve met before, like Margaret and Mary, was such a nice reunion. Meeting other family members for the first time, like Anne, Michael, Emma, David, Mason, Billy, Elizabeth and baby Tom was very special. I look forward to the next time we gather, and genuinely extend the invitation to each of them to visit me in Cape Cod after my RTW journey.

I have made many friends throughout my life who are my chosen family, and I am so grateful for all of those relationships. They truly mean the world to me. However, this week, my heart is full from the connections that are my kin. These blood connections span beyond our lifetime and connect us to those who have departed this life, along with those who will come after us. I’m warmed by knowing that time and distance do not diminish all of these relationships. Rather, they keep us tied to one another, be it kin family or chosen family, creating a space for more shared stories and excitement of one’s return. There’s always a home, somewhere around the world, to go to. Until next time, dear friends: stay safe, stay healthy, and always remember to make space for what brings you joy.

like branches on a tree
we all grow in different directions
yet our roots remain as one
-unknown